Whats For Dinner Babe?

So last night, my girlfriend made possibly the most amazing dinner I've ever had in my life. Tri-tip, chopped brisket, pulled pork, garlic mashed potatoes, watermelon, and some seriously boner-inspiring BBQ baked beans. Truly a man's dinner.

Here's a picture of it:

Oh my god this shit was amazing.

After I finished, I told her that I was so happy and impressed that I, yes I, would cook dinner tomorrow. She could just relax, sit back, have a glass of champagne, and watch The Bachelor or whatever the fuck stupid show she watches at night.

So the next day, I went to the grocery store, got all these expensive spices, the best ingredients, the whole nine yards. I got home and told my girlfriend to lay on the couch and to NOT come in the kitchen under any circumstances until it was time to eat. I slaved and toiled away preparing the most delicious feast she had ever laid eyes on. Now, not everything came out exactly how I imagined it, but I think I did a pretty satisfactory job for a man.

Here's what my romantic dinner looked like:

Look, it's happy to see you!

Now, ladies, don't be getting all crazy on me and start emailing me stuff like "OH, MISTER BIG STRONG ROMANTIC MAN, PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE AND LET ME OFFER YOU ALL KINDS OF FELLATIO AND OTHER SEX ACTS," because I'm just not down with that. You know I already have a girlfriend, and I would never cheat on her unless it was with a celebrity. So please, keep the comments rated G.